Explore Your PotentialCore Values & Calling

Twelve Considerations When Exploring Your Potential

• Your Character (who you are becoming)
• Your Companions (who you are with)
• Your Community (where you belong)
• Your Career (what you do professionally)
• Your Choices (what you do personally)
• Your Competencies (what you can accomplish)
• Your Causes (where you create change)
• Your Charities (what you fund and support)
• Your Contribution (what difference you make)
• Your Compass (who or what guides you)
• Your Core Values (what drives and fuels your deepest desires)
• Your Calling (why you are here)

As you look at this list of twelve considerations for exploring your purpose, which are the three you most often think about… and which three rarely cross your mind?

Who would be willing to share with the larger group maybe one or two of your most-considered or least-considered C’s?

What am I really living for? What is ultimately most important to me? How do I want to be remembered? What do I desire others to say about me at my 90th Birthday Party or even at my funeral? What will be my lasting legacy?

It is only questions of this nature that have the propensity to unearth those deepest desires that are buried deep down inside of us. Sadly, these are questions that we often avoid during adolescence and early adulthood, because they feel unsettling and even scary.

This is unfortunate, because it is these very questions that have the force to awaken those hibernating thoughts of ultimate meaning. Personality temperament and strengths themes can be easily identified with simple online tools, but this final step of completing your personal assessment will be most challenging and will require a bit more courage.

Discovering your core values and calling will be your most important task as an emerging adult, so please take the lessons and exercises of this session very seriously.

The 90th Birthday/Funeral Journal

Expectation

To answer the question: What do I want to be said of me at the end of my life?

Exercise

In an attempt to identify your core values, create a birthday/funeral journal that contains very specific words and thoughts that you would hope others (family, friends, co-workers) would express about you in the final season of your life.

Examples

Read some selected snippets From Dr. Michael Brown’s Funeral Journal:

I want my wife to say

• Although Michael loved serving other people, it was apparent that he was happiest at home with us.
• Michael shared his life with me. I really knew him. All that he felt and thought, I knew.
• Although Michael was so strong and steady – when he was hurting, he wasn’t afraid to cry in front of us.
• His dealings with me each day helped me to know God’s unconditional love for me. God used Michael as His instrument to love me.
• In the context of Michael’s commitment to his career – his greatest passion was to establish a legacy through our family.
• Michael’s kindness, gentleness, and patience with me transformed my life.
• Michael’s love for God was real. It wasn’t just talk. He knew God.
• The powerful principles Michael shared with conference crowds, he lived at home.
• Although people were attracted to Michael as a person and people vied for his time and energy, he never let anyone get closer to him than me.
• Michael’s charisma in public translated at home into a pursuit of his family.
• Michael prayed with me and for me daily.
• Michael was the leader in our marriage and our home; he set the environment for all of us – and it was an environment of grace.
• Michael was a great listener, and was quick to encourage, comfort and validate my feelings.
• I was the apple of Michael’s eye, and I never doubted that.

I want my best friends to say

• Michael finished the race of life well.
• Michael’s life was characterized by integrity, humility, and purity.
• Whenever I needed Michael, he was always right there.
• As I watched Michael’s interactions with Teresa and the kids, I got a clearer picture of God’s plan for the family.
• Michael was a man of great passion and compassion.
• Michael wasn’t afraid to ask the tough questions. He cared too much about me.
• Michael’s life vision was focused. He knew his purpose in life and lived each day in light of that purpose.

I want my colleagues to say

• Michael invested in my life.
• I never felt used or manipulated by Michael to further his career.
• Michael was down to earth. He was real.
• Michael cared about me. He showed it, and he said it.

Invest 10 minutes now to start the process of brainstorming 5-10 statements that you want shared at the end of your life… and by whom.

Publicly share with the larger group just one of these birthday/funeral statements.

The Personal Mission Statement

Expectation

To answer the question: How do I make certain that my core values are infused into a concise paragraph that best articulates a compelling description of my unique calling?

Exercise

Create a Personal Mission Statement

Example

Michael Brown’s personal mission in life is:

To be a man of purpose, focus, integrity and character whose public and private worlds are in sync, who passionately demonstrates love for his wife, children and closest friends with selfless service, genuine friendship and the sacrifice of time and verbal expression – and who is actively engaged in developing the leaders of tomorrow in each of the twelve dimensions of their lives, as well as mentoring the next generation of young men into personal wholeness and R.E.A.L. manhood.

Invest 10 minutes now to start the process of imagining 1-2 brief phrases that might be included in your personal mission statement.

Use the following seven statements as examples of ways you might format components of your personal mission statement.

1. “To ... [what you want to achieve, do or become] ... so that ... [reasons why it is important]. I will do this by ... [specific behaviors or actions you can use to get there].”

Example: To give generously of my time, talent and treasure so that others may benefit from my life and gifts. I will do this by seeking opportunities and situations where I might be of meaningful service to others.

2. “I value ...[choose two to three values]... because ...[reasons why these values are important to you]. Accordingly, I will ...[what you can do to live by these values].”

Example: I value loyalty and dedication because relationships and commitment are important to me. I will finish what I start and not back down from a commitment.

3. “To develop and cultivate the qualities of ...[two-three values/character traits]... that I admire in ...[an influential person in your life]... so that ...[why you want to develop these qualities].”

Example: To develop and cultivate the qualities of a REAL man so that I can positively influence other men, and live a life of purpose.

4. “To live each day with ...[choose one to three values or principles]... so that ...[what living by these values will give you]. I will do this by ...[specific behaviors you will use to live by these values].”

Example: To live each day with perspective and purpose so I am not overwhelmed or discouraged by meaningless moments or circumstances. I will do this through personal reflection, in community with close friends, by believing that my life has great value.

5. “To appreciate and enjoy ...[things you want to appreciate and enjoy more] by ...[what you can do to appreciate and enjoy these things].”

Example: To appreciate and enjoy quiet moments by closing my eyes and breathing deeply and slowly.

6. “To treasure above all else ...[most important things to you] by ...[what you can do to live your priorities].”

Example: To treasure above all else my family, friends, and new acquaintances by serving, sharing, and listening more than speaking.

7. “To be known by ...[an important person/group]... as someone who is ...[qualities you want to have]...; by ...[some other person/group]... as someone who is ...[other qualities].”

Example: To be known by all who meet me as someone who appreciates life; by my wife as a man of integrity; by my sons as a tender warrior; by my friends as a trusted confidant; and by those with whom I work as a selfless servant.

Conceptualized by Andy Alt (Dr. Michael Brown’s Best Friend & Co-Creator of the Vanguard Men’s Community)

Publicly share with the larger group just one of those potential personal mission statement phrases.

Wake Up

...to the reality that “death is the destiny of every man” (Ecclesiastes 7), that “all men are like grass and their glory is like the flowers of the field… grass that will wither and flowers that will fall” (Isaiah 40), that “my life is merely a breath” (Job 7), and that “we do not know what will happen tomorrow, because our lives are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes (James 4).”

Rise Up

...and complete the two most important exercises for this season of your life: creating a birthday/funeral journal and crafting a personal mission statement.

Step Up

...and commit to living each day on purpose with the end in mind, and inviting others to do the same.